First, I would like to remind everybody that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to marry a man of means. In fact, experts say (“Why We Love” by Hellen Fisher and “The evolution of desire” by David Buss) it is part of female DNA to be attracted to a provider. Even so, there will be many people for altruistic, emotional and personal reasons who will object to women who strategize to meet a specific type of man, and I will refer you to my video on why selective mating is OK, if you are sincerely interested in learning about it.
Now, that we have gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about this 5-year plan.
It’s December, ladies! The new year is upon us, and everybody is scrambling to begin planning out their New Year’s resolutions. Some of you have had a miserable dating experience full of deadbeats, booty calls and d*ck pics. If you’re ready to turn it all around and go fishing in a more high quality pond, you’re gonna need a road map.
Many of us dream of finding our prince charming who will give us the life we have always dreamt of. Some women, want to marry wealth, because they come from wealth and want to maintain that. Some just want the freedom to live the kind of life they have always dreamt of; from starting their own businesses to being a stay-at-home mom and effectively raising great kids. Whatever, your reasons, this is your time to go for it! Don’t get any closer to a life of regret. Read this guide and see how your life can be transformed.
Why 5 years?
I’ll be honest. Coming up with the number 5 was a little arbitrary. I have heard a lot of people talk about having 5-year plans to get married, to retire, to make a certain amount of money. So, I decided to do something that would be familiar to people, deciding to break down the process of marrying wealthy into 5 years. It can truly take you more or less time than that, but the most important point is that following these steps, you have your shot at marrying a man that can provide you the standard of life you desire. Of course you can get a proposal or boyfriend at any point in this 5-year plan keeping with the process, but I recommend you at least complete year 1 (preparation) before venturing out. Also, if you think you are prepared and would like to skip steps, I won’t stop you. This guide is a highly recommended system, not scripture.
What is the Strategy?
Year 1 – Preparation
Get in shape – whether it’s 5 pounds or 100 pounds, 1 year is enough to get in shape, and build up the habit of keeping up your figure. Being healthy is an important aspect of living your best life, and looking good is important for catching men’s attention. So, it should be a priority during your year of preparation. If you have a goal of losing 100 pounds, I have good news for you. It is considered OK to lose up to 2 lbs a week (but no more than that), so set the goal. Visit your doctor before beginning any weight loss regimen. Get a personal trainer, or just start with a simple 30-minute walk or run every day. The majority of the weight you lose will come from a change in how you eat, so pick the diet plan that is best for you. Telling you what to do to lose weight is beyond the scope of this article, but there are endless resources on how to lose weight everywhere you go. So, there is no excuse. Just do it.
Get therapy – If you have had a string of bad relationships, or have hang ups about “all men” being a certain kind of way (that is simply awful), you probably have a lot of baggage you are carrying around. I highly recommend you dump all that baggage in the arm chair of a good psychologist. Don’t feel shy about it, because that baggage will hold you back on this journey or trip you up at some point. Either not allowing you to fully commit to the process or making it difficult for you to genuinely connect with someone. So, make a commitment to dropping the baggage this year!
Study your target – In this year of preparation, I urge you to study wealth. Not just so you can manipulate your way into wealthy circles, but it’s also so that you can convince yourself whether or not it is something you truly want for yourself. Here are some tips:
- Make a list of the qualities you want in a rich mate
- Study people like him and their wives (Google is your friend)
- Read books, articles, etc. relating to that lifestyle
- Visit areas where people in that niche reside
- Learn the mannerisms, customs and etiquette of that lifestyle
- Keep a journal of everything you are learning
I have a lot more tips on how to do that in my (How to Marry Rich 101 course).
Edit (November 1, 2018): I think there should be a 4th step, i.e. Get your finances in order!!! I will write about this soon and link the article here.
Year 2 – Get connected
Now that you are in shape and have the information you need, you are ready to interact with the suitable men.
Glam up and show up – Dress to impress. Using the information you found out in Year 1, dress like you belong in the circles of the men of your interest. Attend functions they frequently attend, mix and mingle. Make it your goal to attend at least one such function peer week. Don’t be a wall flower at these events either. Seek to make friends and get invitations. Get connected to a specific group of people is a key strategic move. You want people who will accept you into their fold. Be careful to find the right kinds of people who will get your closer to your goal.
Join clubs – A good move would be to join a social club. This is the best and easiest way to form lasting connections with people in a specific demographic. Keep in mind that according to Ginie Sayles in her book “How to meet the rich,” it takes about 1-3 years to be fully integrated into a new social circles. Before that you will meet with opposition. You will need to overcome suspicion and resistance from older members of the group, etc. But this would happen no matter what new group you join. So, just keep that in mind and don’t let it frighten you away or give you low self esteem about whether or not you belong.
Year 3 – Get Dates
You can begin to accept dates even in year 2 or whenever any man asks you out, but for some people it takes a while to feel comfortable in new surroundings. So, don’t feel bad if you have to take your time before you begin the process of dating. Use it as your opportunity to watch how other couples in these circles interact, or how other girls in these circles get dates. But don’t use learning as an excuse to procrastinate. Here are some tips to get you started.
Flirt – If you are not used to dating (maybe you were just never the type of girl who was flirtatious), I highly recommend the book “Get the Guy” by Matthew Hussey. It gives really good tips with exercises and links to videos that can help a girl land a high quality guy. The big thing is to subtly get his attention, smile and let him come to you. I will have other articles and courses on this topic coming soon.
Accept invitations – Even if you are not interested in a guy (right away), calmly accept his invitation for a date. It will be good practice for the guy who tickles your fancy. And you never know. The guy you least suspect could be the guy who wins your heart.
Lock down a keeper – Your goal is to get a committed boyfriend by the end of this year. So, don’t waste too much time with guys who seem like time wasters. A good way to spot a time waster is by reading the book “He’s just not that into you” by Greg Behrendt. Once you know how to spot a time waster, read “You Lost Him at Hello” by Jess McCann. This book (and many of the others I have mentioned) will teach you how to get him to commit to you.
Year 4 – Keep the Guy
Hopefully, by now you have gotten a committed boyfriend and feel super comfortable in your new social status. Now, it’s time to relax into this new way of life and really enjoy your boyfriend. Don’t spend too much time thinking about rules. Just enjoy it, be yourself in the most considerate way possible and have fun. The only rule here, is to do your utmost best not to SABOTAGE the relationship.
You have a goal to get a marriage proposal in 5 years. This is year 4. Keep that in mind. I’m NOT saying stay in a crappy relationship so you can marry a rich guy in 5 years. Take as long as you want and/or need to marry the right guy. However, if you did the dating process effectively, this guy should be a keeper. So, don’t blow it. I don’t want to freak you out, but I want you to understand that a lot of women (and men) often sabotage good relationships because of their own hang ups that have nothing to do with the quality of the man. Here are a few things to keep in mind to help you avoid being one of them:
- Nobody is perfect. Don’t convince yourself that any of his bad quality is BECAUSE he is rich. You could easily be married to a poor jerk. So, be patient with whatever man you are with no matter how much money he has.
- Get rid of your baggage. Too many women are blinded by romance stories in books and movies of a girl who is just a complete mess who finds a man who “completes her”. Don’t hold your breath for such a relationship. Go get yourself some therapy (preferably in year one) and don’t hold your man to any unrealistic standards about his responsibility for your emotions and problems.
- Be honest with yourself. Don’t have too high sense of self worth, nor too low. Be honest about who you are, your strengths and your weaknesses coming into the relationship.
- Let him be himself. Don’t try to change him. If he is an Alpha male, don’t go on a mission to soften him up. If he is a bleeding heart, don’t try to teach him how to be more aggressive to people who you may perceive as a threat to you. Just let him be himself. Let his guys or someone else point out major flaws in him. There will come an appropriate time for you to hold him to a certain standard. That time comes when you have established a good picture of who he says he is as a man. Knowing that, you can then hold him accountable about his own code of ethics for himself. But this is only once you have gotten a chance to understand who he says he is as a person.
Many of the books I have mentioned (specifically “You lost him at hello” and “Get the guy”) go into more detail about things you should guard yourself against to avoid sabotaging a relationship with a good man, but one other book I’d like you to consider is “The Rules” (of dating) by Ellen Fein & Sherrie Shneider.
Year 5 – Secure the ring
First, get it out of your head that you need a long courtship to have a good marriage. There are great people who got married after knowing each other for a few months and stayed married for 50+ years. However, if you have limited yourself for some personal reason to wanting a longer courtship, by all means, take your time. However, if your biological clock is ticking or you just want to move on from that dating phase of life, this is the year you need to work on securing the ring.
Most men realize that women don’t date just for dating’s sake. Most men know very well that the ring is on a woman’s mind. However, most people (not just men) are afraid of commitment and if you give him the opportunity, he will leave you hanging as long as humanly possible. That is why you must make it clear to him as soon as possible (preferably within a month of you guys becoming officially boyfriend and girlfriend) that you are in this for a marriage. In fact, eventual marriage should be a CONDITION of becoming his girlfriend. Any man who wants exclusivity with you without the guarantee that marriage is the next step is a time waster and should be deleted from your mental space.
When these conditions are met, he already knows that you are expecting a ring eventually. So, it should not surprise him in year 5 when you begin to mention your desires for the ultimate commitment. A few rules for this process:
- Don’t be angry. Don’t pester. Don’t nag. Just mention it, drop hints and make sure he knows you are serious.
- Be conscious of the possibility he has been a very clever time waster. While this is a very rare scenario (most men would not put in this much effort to waste your time), put it in your own mind that a “no” is a “no”, and a “maybe” is a “no”; and be prepared to walk away. If you are not prepared to walk away, you lose your integrity with him, and run the risk of being strung along for a very long time and eventually dropped. Many girls who walk away, often get men who come running after them. Especially if she is a woman of high quality. So, walk away. If he comes running to you, make sure he has a ring in his hand. Otherwise, by now, at least you already know the process of getting a high value man. Just rinse and repeat.
Need Help Starting Your Journey?
I hope this has been helpful for you in making your five year plan. This is just a brief overview of the process. I hope to offer more resources for those of you interested in embarking on this journey. If you want to learn more about everything related to social climbing by marrying wealthy, take the Selective Mating course for a more in-depth understanding of being intentional about your dating life. You might also want to join the Marry Money Plan Club which is as simple as subscribing to the Marry Money plan newsletter for updates. Also, follow us on social media to join the conversation.